On The Night of Her Nikkah!!

On her Night of Nikkah she said...
Before I say “yes” by Na’ima B. Robert

Here we stand, apart, not touching, not looking.

Tomorrow is our nikah.



But today, it is as if we are standing at the edge of the sea, the tide coming in to meet us.

We are almost ready to plunge into the rolling surf and swim out to the world of tomorrow, with its far-off horizon.



Families, words of praise and recommendation, questions and shy glances are behind us now.

You have seen what pleases you.

And I have seen what pleases me.

But I have not seen your heart.

And you have not seen mine.



And so now, before our fates are inextricably entwined, I will bare my heart to you.

Without reservations, I will show you the core of my being.

I am like a sapling, a tender sapling, whose roots reach eagerly to drink life’s goodness.

Take care when you hold the tender sapling between your fingers.



I was created by Allah, a delicate seed, born of my mother and father’s love.

My mother nurtured me in her womb

where an angel blew a soul into my tiny form.

My mother’s body cradled me and I breathed of her air.

She nourished me from herself and spoke love to me in the darkness.



I was born into the love of my parents and I began to grow.

Seed became seedling under their care and attention.

They showered me with praise, and my self-esteem sprouted.

They guided me with kindness and my character blossomed.

They weeded the world around me so that I could grow strong and pure.

And now that my first buds are about to open, they have entrusted me to you.



How will you tend me?



Will you coax my buds to unfurl with words of love and kind attention?

Or will you pluck them before they’re ready, crushing their new petals and delicate stems?

When I bring forth delicate blossoms of talent and inspiration,

Will you smile at their dreaming petals and share in the blush of hope?

Or will you watch as blossoms wither under your disapproving gaze,

Your criticism, your scorn, and your self-righteous censure?

Will you guide my wilder branches, gently, coaxing them to grow straight and true?

Or will you simply break off the ones that displease you, trampling them carelessly underfoot?

And when, insha Allah, I come to bear your children, will you continue to water me?

Or will you pluck those precious fruits, one by one, and turn away from the empty branches?

And when my trunk grows wide and thick with age, will you marvel at my strength?

Or will you recoil from touching my rough, brown bark?

When the years have become mere memories, will you admire how tall we have grown?

Or will your restless, selfish heart long to reach out for another sapling?

When I am as weak as the waving branches of a weeping willow – will you protect me?

When I am as strong as the trunk of the mighty Redwood tree – will you support me?

When I am as wise as the age rings of the old, old oak tree – will you respect me?

When I am as foolish as the fickle blossoms of early Spring – will you be patient with me?

When I am as fragile as the flowers of a jasmine tree – will you keep me safe?

When I am as bold as the roots that break through concrete – will you believe in me?



How will you tend me?



For now I have shown you my heart, its dreams, its hopes and fears.

Look carefully as we stand at the edge of the water.

Are you willing to bare your soul and show your heart to me?

So that I feel safe as the two of us swim on out to sea.

Remember that I am like a sapling, a creation of Allah.

Take care when you hold me between your fingers.

This is something every to be wed or already married woman should ask her husband, it is simply amazing the way ones feelings have been described in this amazing poem!!

Jazakallah
M*M

Tips to Improve Your/My Marriage

A couple days back i was listening to this webminar by shaikh riad and i simply loved the 20 point he gave to improve one's marriage so i thought to share it with you guys.

1.Patience
2.Exchanging Gifts
3.Allocating time to sit together & talk
4.Warm greeting
5.Praising each other
6.Not to compare one another
7.Pampering each other
8.Do chores together
9.Kind words (smile alot)
10.Spend time out
11.Peaceful gathering (with kids)
12.Show your support
13.Break the routine
14.Be honest with each other ( if have a problem talk it out)
15.Give each other cute nicknames & have your know code language
16.Don't talk about your problems before or at bedtime. ( make your bedroom smell nice)
17.Thank each other, show gratefulness for little things too.
18.Apologize, it will not belittle you
19.Respect each other & hide each others negative points
20. Don't be stubborn

COMMUNICATION is the key !! so keep an open communication link.


Jazakallah
M*M

A Mother’s Advice To Her Daughter

Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came to advise her and said:
‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.
‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.
‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.
‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.‘

The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal,and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.‘

Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.
‘Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.
‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.”
Jamharah Khutah al-‘Arab, 1/145

My dear sisters , this is something i read at least once a month because it is the most useful and compiled advice for any wife/to be wife.Also its a concise way of telling you how to take care of your dress i.e your husband. Inshallah in the future we will continue talking on on to make this relationship the best for us.
May Allah(swt) help us all be the wives Allah(swt) made us to be and our husbands feel they are blessed to have. (ameen)

Jazakallah
M*M

Biggest Change in any Girl's Life : Marriage.

Life is full of changes, moving from wearing diapers to being potty trained to moving to a higher grade every year. All these changes and many more which we face in life we adapt to them and adjust accordingly. but one of the major changes in a girl's life is getting married and in today's career oriented world this aspect of life and this change is either forgotten or taken very lightly , people thinking " the girl will learn" and so most of the girls face this major change of their life unprepared and not knowing what they will be facing. true they know the good part but in all the romantic stuff, the responsibility part is forgotten and that's what usually goes wrong because getting married does not mean just marrying one guy it means becoming part of a family and taking care of your husband and his family.
Allah(swt) created Eve(a.s) to accompany Adam(a.s) and help him in every aspect of life so similarly all women are made to be with their mate. ( Wisdom point: first find you soul then find your soul mate.)
Allah(swt) tells us in the Quran


يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا


" Mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women; and fear Allâh through Whom you demand (your mutual rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)". Surely, Allâh is Ever an All¬Watcher over you." (surah an-nisa:1)

So basically one of the major duties of a woman after worshipping Allah(swt) is to be a good wife & be such that the husband even by looking at his wife finds peace in his heart and is glad he married her.
Usually girls today (us) look at books such as mills & boons, historical romances etc to understand what love and marriage is & that is what makes ones marriage life a disaster.its these dumb fantasies & love at first sight theories and many other similar thing which takes one away from reality and then when reality strikes its hard for her to adjust and keep up with them at times breaking underpressure or thinking bad about her husband and his family where as its not their fault that they aren't like the fairy tale fantasies she had expected they are real people living in the real world..
so the 1st step for a girl is prepare herself for this major change & one of the best ways in doing so is reading about real life women who were ideal wives like H.z Khadija (rta) & the other Ummaha-tul-momineen. Making them your role models & also educating yourself in the worldly matters and also our wonderfull religion Islam cause with these and our strongest weapon: Dua, Inshallah all of us can become the best wives for our husbands.
A clue to what my next post will be about: ( like i said i want this blog to be as interactive as we can make it ) so guess and also give ideas about what other issues you want us to discuss and with the help of Quran & hadith together lets solve them (inshallah).
CLUE
How do you take care/safeguard/treat/keep your wedding dress/favourite dress??
Jazakallah
M*M

Why, Who , What??

This is my first post and is an introduction to what this blog will be about.I have been married for more than 2 yrs now and after my own experiences and also talking to my other married friends, I have realized that even though before marriage alot of issues are explained to a young girl but alot of other issues are left for them to face and then they dont know what to do in these situations. And it is closeness to Islam and having knowledge about Islam and experience that teaches one on how to face these situations with wisdom and patience and also maintain good relationship with everyone.
So in this blog with the help of ALLAH(SWT) I plan to share with you my experiences and solutions to most of these issues according to Quran & Sunnah.
Mostly My blog will be for married young girls about different problems, situations and family stuff one faces after marriage.
I want you to participate and comment on all my posts and truthfully tell me what you think of my blog and if it is a source of help to you or not, because my aim with this blog is finding solutions according to Islam for myself & others & Inshallah having a good relationship with our husbands, children, in-laws & other family members.
Jazakallah
M*M